I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
