Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Send us your Text From Last Night!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
