The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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