Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
