Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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