Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
