We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
