scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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