Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
