But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize