what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
