Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you still have your period?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
