You really coming over, don't trick.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
