it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
