is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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