It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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