You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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