Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
