You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
