Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
