Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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