Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
