ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
