So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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