I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
