New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
