We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
