Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
