did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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