I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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