it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
MIDGETS
????
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
