I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize