You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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