U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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