You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
