would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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