first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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