Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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