Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
