that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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