Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
