We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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