why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
