HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
