Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
