butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
