I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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