The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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