i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
