Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
