this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
