they need to just BURY HIM!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
