Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
