Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
