The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
