i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
