Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need water and some morals
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
