Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
