I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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