i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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