Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
