Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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